5 Things To Do For Dying Elderly Parents

When you lose a loved one, you are losing one very important person in your life. When someone is dying, they are losing every single person they have ever known, every memory, and every experience of their lives. This is a very difficult loss to cope with, and towards the end, people are often deep in their thoughts about these losses. Dying is hard work, and so is watching a loved one go through that process.

If your elderly parent is dying give some comfort and tell him/her: “It is OK to go. Your family loves you and we will be fine.”

Most people lose consciousness near the end of their life. But there may still be some awareness of other people in the room, and hearing what’s being said. This can be a good time to say some last words to relatives or friends and hold their hand.  They can hear everything you say even if they are in a coma prior to dying.

Even if death is predicted and expected we don’t really believe the prediction. Other people die, not our loved ones.

Persons who are dying often want “permission to die” from those they love. Often, they want to be assured of five things:

  • Things they were once responsible for will be taken care of.
  • The survivors will survive without them.
  • All is forgiven.
  • Their life had meaning.
  • They will be remembered.

“I love you.”

Even with all the preparation and knowledge that death is coming, the moment of death is not easy to see. 

It is not uncommon for the dying person to wait to die until loved ones have left the room. Make sure you allow for this. Sometimes, if a person seems to be holding on, you may simply say, “I’m going to leave the room for awhile. I love you.”

You are going home

You are going home
once again going home
leaving this earthbound
existence behind
ready to soar again
outside of space and time

You are going home
riding on the wide wings
of comforting sleep
leaving your essence free
to roam far away
and yet so close

You are going home
to remember
all that you are
have always been
and always will be

You are going home
once again home

– Ulla Mentzel –


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